I’ll Go Deep
I’d like to share what was in my heart as I started writing the song I’ll Go Deep. It took me a few years to complete it but the things in my heart have remained the same.
I was confused at a time at the concept of hunger and thirst for more of God when Jesus said that as the Living Water if one drank of Him, they would never thirst again. I came to see that the thirst Jesus was speaking of that ends once we drink of Him is that longing to be connected to God as we were created to be but can’t be because of our sinful nature from birth. Every single human being has that ‘God-shaped vacuum’ that only He can fill and we try to fill it with all sorts of temporal things – human relationships, material goods, accolades, goal after goal, etc. Yet He fills that through Jesus who though being God came as a man to die for us, setting us free from bondage to sin and the effects of it, and reconciling us to God, the Father.
After we are reconciled to God through Christ, what we begin to experience every now and then is a different kind of hunger and thirst – one for more of Him. The reality is that there’s no end to how deep our relationship with God can be – how well we know Him – so our spirits keep responding to a pull to go deeper. We often reach a comfort zone (a plateau) in our relationship with God and stay there for a period of time until we begin to feel the nudging to go deeper.
Ezekiel had a vision:
In my vision, the man brought me back to the entrance of the Temple. There I saw a stream flowing east from beneath the door of the Temple and passing to the right of the altar on its south side. The man brought me outside the wall through the north gateway and led me around to the eastern entrance. There I could see the water flowing out through the south side of the east gateway. Measuring as he went, he took me along the stream for 1,750 feet and then led me across. The water was up to my ankles. He measured off another 1,750 feet and led me across again. This time the water was up to my knees. After another 1,750 feet, it was up to my waist. Then he measured another 1,750 feet, and the river was too deep to walk across. It was deep enough to swim in, but too deep to walk through. (Ezekiel 47:1-5 NLT)
Anybody who has tried to swim in the ocean at the beach would appreciate the effect of the water as you go further and deeper into the water. Initially, you can just wade in the water with the water reaching up to your ankles. To wade is to walk into or through an area of water that is not very deep. There’s a bit of resistance from the water but you can easily overcome the resistance and walk in whatever direction you want to. As you go deeper and the water gets to your knees, you begin to lose some control and have to work harder – resist – to stay in one position or go in your desired direction. As the water gets to your waist and the waves roll, the waves begin to push you around but you can still resist with a lot of effort.
However, when you get to a depth where your feet can no longer touch the ocean floor, you are completely at the mercy of the waves. If you just submit to the waves and don’t swim against the current, they will carry you along with them. You lose all control. It’s very hard work at this point to swim against the waves to go in your own desired direction (especially back to shore). It can feel scary because you’re not in control but you’re guaranteed to keep going further and further, carried by the waves.
This is a picture of what happens to us at different depths in our walk with God. The river in the vision was a life-giving, healing river synonymous with the Holy Spirit. We can choose to be satisfied with the initial in-filling of the Spirit we receive when we accept Jesus as Saviour and just go on living our lives the same way or we can seek to be full of the Spirit (controlled by Him) . We can fight to maintain control of our lives – our plans, our pursuits – resisting the leading of the Spirit to go deeper or we can keep going deeper till we relinquish all control to the Holy Spirit. At that point, we have accepted that Jesus is not only Saviour but Lord over our lives; that we don’t belong to ourselves any longer but have been bought with the precious price of His blood; that we live absolutely for God’s purposes and pleasure.
It was the desire in my heart to go deeper that caused me to write this song. I had (and still have) a desire to go to a depth where I am more submitted to the leading of the Spirit and not debating His leadings with my carnal mind; not seeking to understand the reason for His instructions before I obey. I want to be a vessel always available for my Master’s use however and whenever He wants to use me for His kingdom’s purposes. I want to hear His voice more clearly and to relate with Him more intimately. Like Paul, I want to know Him more and more.
It is my prayer that many who listen to this song will have the same desire and that we will not just desire it but pursue to attain it…and keep pursuing to keep going deeper.